Russ Stiffler

2. I … Building High Self-Esteem … Are You Selfish Enough?

Posted by Admin in 3. "I" - Self-Esteem, Plug Into the Power

A key to building high self-esteem, is to be able to have our focus, away from ourselves.

When your focus is, outside of yourself, you a are giving, caring person, who has good reason, to feel good about him or herself.

Feeling good about yourself, is a very good definition, of high self-esteem.

But, how do we get there? One way, is to make sure, that your needs are taken care of. Then your needs, are of little concern. “There is no need to worry about me. I am well taken care of!”

So that leads us to …

“The more selfish you are, the less selfish you become.”

Read that again, slowly. “The more, selfish you are, the less selfish, you become.” That doesn’t make sense, or does it really make sense.

We’ve been taught, all our lives, that being selfish, was bad. When we were little, and in the “Mine” stage, our parents told us, we should share. We were good, when we shared our toys.

We are taught, that giving is very important. We are better human beings, the more we give. The people, held in the highest esteem, are volunteers, and people, like Mother Teresa.

I’m not saying “giving” is not important, actually what I’m saying is, “giving” is very important. Giving, is one of the most important, of the success habits/attitudes.

Now, you are thinking, this wacko is talking with a forked tongue. So, let’s clarify things. It comes down to this: you can’t give, what you don’t have. If you don’t have it, how can you give it to someone?

Many people, come away from our “sharing” training, with the idea, that if they take care of themselves, first, they are being bad. They are selfish. It is bad, to be selfish.

But, let’s look at it a different way: the more you have, the more you have to give.

Let’s look at money, for a minute. If you have no money, it’s hard enough, just to feed yourself. There’s nothing left, to give anyone else. Sure, there’s time. And sure, often, time is more important to give, than money.

But, if you have plenty of money, you have plenty, to give away. And, at some time in your life, you probably have plenty of time, also. You now, have the best of both worlds. You have, both, money, and time, to give away.

With abundance, you can give abundantly. If you have lots of love, you have lots of love, to give.

Much giving is done, with strings attached. If I do this, for you, I expect you, to do this, for me. That is not giving, that is a contract. It may not be spoken, but it is understood.

Much of the reason behind, giving with strings attached, comes from the belief, of the giver, that they do not have enough; so to replace, what is given, they must get back in return. The scale, must always be in balance.

Also, from this belief, of not having enough, they become needy, and grab – take away from someone else – whatever they can get. This lack, this belief in their lack, turns them into takers.

These takers, need to turn their thinking around. If they believe, they have plenty of everything, if they believe, their needs are, and will be, taken care of, then, they will be free, to give freely.

And, as we will discuss in the “Giving” section of “I DESIRE” Success, the more you give, the more you get. So, the more you give, the more you get, and the more you will have, to give. But that’s another message, for later.

Now, we are discussing you. If you take care of yourself. If you know, your needs, will be taken care of. Then, you are free to give
of yourself, in the spirit of giving, and not as the execution of a contract.

This is, the abundant attitude. There is plenty to go around, I don’t need to save everything, for myself. That is what, being selfish is all about, hoarding scarce supplies.

So the key is: learn what your needs are. Do what you need to do, to make sure those needs are taken care of. Then, with the confidence of knowing you are OK, you will be able to open up your heart, to give the love, support, and resources, you have available.

This giving, from the heart, is received by others, who see that their needs are being taken care of, so they can give back freely, from the heart.

Only in this way, is it possible to create the total, sharing, synergistic, win-win environment that we all crave.

So, instead of being selfish, let’s take care of ourselves. When we know that our needs, are being taken care of, and we are free to give abundantly, our outlook is outward.

We feel strong and confident.

Isn’t that another good definition, of high self-esteem?

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